Comedian and talk show host, Teju Oyelakin, popularly known as Teju Babyface, has cautioned men against confessing to their partners if they cheat, arguing that such disclosures often cause more harm than good.
Speaking in a YouTube video on Monday, Teju described confessing infidelity as “one of the most catastrophic and damaging” choices a man can make in marriage.
“If you cheat on your wife, don’t tell her. Don’t confess. Do not ever do it,” he stressed, noting that many men mistake confession for honesty when, in reality, it transfers their guilt to their spouse.
He explained that confession, as taught in the Bible, is meant to be directed to God, not to one’s partner. “It is confession to God, not to man. Do not do it,” he said.
According to Teju, most people who confess are not being truthful but manipulative, seeking relief from guilt at the expense of their partner’s peace. “You are not being honest; you are being manipulative. What you’re doing is unloading your guilt, not helping your spouse,” he added.
Drawing from personal experience, the comedian admitted that before marriage, he once cheated in a serious relationship and confessed, a decision he now regrets. He said his admission was less about honesty and more about subconsciously sabotaging the relationship.
Teju argued that such revelations rarely heal relationships but instead deepen wounds and permanently damage trust. “There is no benefit to your spouse when you confess. What you give them is pain, heartache, and misery,” he said.
He cited an example of a friend who confessed to cheating early in his marriage 15 years ago, only to have the incident remain a recurring source of conflict to this day.
Teju concluded that true repentance lies in change of behaviour, not in confession. He urged men to stop cheating rather than seek emotional relief through disclosure.
“If you feel guilty, confess to God or a counsellor, not your wife. That’s not honesty; that’s cruelty,” he advised, adding that a one-time mistake does not make a man a habitual cheater.
